Lack of Atonement


I have come to a point where I find myself living what I have told others for years, be your real true authentic self without apology. Having lived in an environment where anything would and typically did become fodder for the fire of whatever was the frenzy at the  moment. For years I found myself apologizing for how I felt as is my emotions were wrong. I would try to justify my beliefs. I had defended my desires. After years of concessions, I began to subconsciously  hide myself as if leaving things buried in some same place was any resolution. Throughout this time, I spoke my voice to others outside my personal life regularly reminding them that they should never apologize for who they are. To speak their truth without apology for they had value and an apology would negate their worth.

I now find myself able to openly share myself, to be compassionate and loving without fear of future retribution. I am able to fully embrace the things I love, a hot cup of coffee on a crisp morning, hearing the owls at dusk, watching sunrise is as refreshing as afternoon rain on a hot summer day.    I have conversations about topics I would have been previously hesitant to breach; those dialogues are without fear of ridicule. I find that I am allowing myself to be vulnerable and  have only found myself supported, encouraged and fully embraced in return.

I know I am blessed to be surrounded by people that love and encourage my authentic self!  I can only hope I can offer such a gift in return.

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.”

― Steve Marabol


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