I usually post the quote at the end of the writings but this is the entire purpose of my musings today so I suppose it shall be at the beginning. “Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.” ― Alan Cohen.
A friend of many decades shared this today which is the third times it has crossed my sight in as many weeks I suppose it is time to pay attention. It is odd that I have found inspiration and insight on such shallow social media but many times this summer posts have been at the top of my timeline when I needed that answer or reflection as if it is something nudging me to pay attention; my facebook karma of sorts.
The truth in the quote resonates so very loudly with me today. I have had more than one loved one struggling this summer with a variety of personal challenges and they seem to either turn it inwardly lashing out at themselves or outwardly is a moment of anger. My daughter is struggling with being independent, navigating the adult world and has lashed out in a nasty way; as if being angry with me will give her the courage to walk the world alone. A friend has had own struggles and had retreated into a place of guilt and shame while they worked on healing.
Now I again find myself standing at the intersection of empathy and another’s pain. My soul knows the difficulty of standing in silence trying to trust in the love and compassion of another. I know what it is like to have the world to see you have no worth, to judge you a bit too harshly, to misunderstand you, to devalue you, to discard you so you are truly alone, to be in a place where not even all the wisdom in the world can alleviate the discomfort. In the moment when I see that struggle in another, I feel the weight of my love, the burden of my empathy. I hope and pray they understand that quote for I see their heart and their spirit which carries so much worth, light, beauty, strength, and courage.
What words can you say in those moments of battle, when they see themselves as broken yet those perceived cracks are just letting the light and courage in? What can express your worth is the same if not more to me? How to do find the strength to stand beside someone, holding space when they are in pain; when all you want to do is envelope them in love, compassion, and kindness? How can you explain the difference between misguided self-perception and what really is? How do you have faith that your love, patience, and compassion are enough to possible see you both through?