My Grand Finale

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As I sit here thinking of the day ahead, considering what I need to do, what I want to do for myself and what may actually occur. For some reason my thoughts filter back to my bucket list, all those things that I want to do, opportunities I have passed on that will never return again and things I can never have. As all of this circulates in my mind I think of the importance to seize the day for I know of myself and others that have not and those moments are gone forever.

Through this reflection I find these questions again trickling through my thoughts, some of which I have asked before while others are new. What if we knew the expiration date of our life, that we knew next Thursday was it what would we do?  If I knew this was my last day on this planet, what would I do? Would it be some grand finale or some small inconsequential moment that passes?  What would I want my children to know, how much could I impart in these last few hours? Having seen this happen to another family, it is a fear I carry like most parents I am sure. If I had one day to do anything what would it be? If I knew it was my last chance to tell a loved one something, what would it be? In that last chance what would I want them to know?  How much they impacted my life? Could I finally say all the words that got trapped in my struggle with vulnerability?  Could I leave the world without regrets? Why do I wait for others to initiate things when I know what is in my heart?  If those in my life knew it was the last time they would see me, what would they share? Are there thoughts they have left trapped deep within themselves for the same reasons I have? Do they live with regrets?

How do you always choose to do the thing on your bucket list instead of waiting for life to unfold? How do you impart what you want to leave into the world? I try to leave a bit of me with those I care for each day but is that enough? How does one find the courage to live each day as if it were their last? How do you let those you care for how very important they are?  How do we live making sure this occurs and not just assume it does?

 

“If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.” ― Lemony Snicket

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