Had to run an errand and decided to stop and treat myself to Mexican food for lunch. It has been a difficult few days, too many responsibilities and too little time with a few plot twists added into the mix. While waiting on my food, I was perusing blog posts and came across on that I typically enjoy and I found myself fighting back tears. I have been incredibly nostalgic over the past week, thinking of my upbringing, people I have lost, those in my life now, what I am grateful for, what I want to ensure I leave behind. I have also thought about how my life has made me who I am and wonder what I have imparted to my children, overtly as well as indirectly. I have spent a lot of time considering the parts of myself that I have lose on my journey, the parts I have let be damaged by others, the scars that I will always carry, the strength I have gained by surviving, and the courage to keep moving forward. Sitting there in that moment reading her words I fell so full of my own, reminded of all the things I have wanted to share but have not been courageous enough to say, thought of the words and deeds left undone, the things I have wanted to do and may never get to experience, my overwhelming need to be held tight, and all the gratitude in my heart and I was overcome…. I suppose lunch with tears and salsa was what needed to be served.
“…I gave you painted air – tears I couldn’t weep – truths I couldn’t speak – all the words that caught in my throat…”
― John Geddes