The Dreaded Bonk and the Ladybug

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So I have hit my wall but in this case it is in this torturous mental marathon. I have an enormous life changing deadline looming out there in just under 72 hours and been pushing myself pretty hard to meet it; to succeed but that little voice keeps telling me to quit. It is as if my mind have seize, cramped from over exertion. I took a walk, no improvement; I had a cup of coffee, still just as tired; so I decided to peruse facebook, a mindless activity. As I scrolled through my timeline I once again saw the same picture filled with “words of wisdom” this is the fourth or fifth time it has cycled through my news feed. It has also been topics of conversation so much so that I blogged about it last week. The quote said, “One of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face in life is choosing to walk away or try harder”.  I reposted it with a snark about not missing the message but this is so true. I feel like I am facing a few difficult decisions in my life at the moment, all related to perseverance or patience. As I was trying to focus my thoughts, to gain some clarity while looking out my office window a ladybug lit on my window, walking in a unique pattern but continually in my sight line. I had a visit from one a few weeks ago as I was again allowing my thoughts to wonder to this topic.  Both visits reminded me of a very tearful day in June where I was so scared, trying to decide what to do in a difficult situation and one landed on my hand. I almost didn’t notice her at first through my tears. Watching he crawl along my hand I found such peace and clarity, knew exactly what the right choice was; maybe she arrived today for a bit more inspiration with a touch of clarity. Maybe I shall continue to try….

 

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” ― Mary Anne Radmacher

 

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